12 February 2009
If I could freeze a moment in amber, this would be it.
Today's post is short, because things have been a little crazy around here again. But I just had to get this down somewhere. This morning, I babysat my youngest niece, LittleJ. It was fun - we made a hat out of Christmas ribbons, leftover scrapbooking stuff, and a paper plate. LittleJ kept BabyA endlessly amused simply by being herself, and we had great fun. After Seester picked up her daughter and left, BabyA and I laid down for a nap. And then Cat#1 decided he wanted under the covers, which he hardly ever does. And Cat#2 curled up at my feet. So I was lying in my bed with a baby snuggled into my chest, a cat snuggled into her feet, and a cat snuggled into mine. It was warm furry bliss. And if that doesn't qualify as a Grace in Small Things moment, I'm not sure what possibly could.
09 February 2009
Another week in my suburban avoidance scheme...
Sorry for the delay, folks. This was supposed to be posted yesterday but I was having issues with compatibility between the new firewall I downloaded and Blogger. Hopefully these are now resolved. This wasn't a (planned) part of my suburban avoidance scheme, really
So, it's time for another weekend update, because I've been slacking this week. Actually, I've been working on a scrapbook for BabyA, which one hand, I hesitate to mention, because scrapbooking just feels so suburban and bourgeois and just uncool. But, despite the fact that I try to be none of these things, I am assembling a scrapbook for BabyA's first year. And damned if I don't enjoy it. It requires at least a little creativity, and I really don't have enough creative outlets in my life right now. And it can be done in short spurts, which is a requirement for any activity I take on right now. And it doesn't aggravate my carpal tunnel, which is also important. So, I'm coming out as a scrapbooker. Deal with it.
In other news, my grandmother celebrated her 91st birthday on Sunday. 91. Wow. I really cannot fathom that. Because she has seen so many things, and the world has changed so much in that time, and I wish I could bottle even a fraction of her wisdom, for hoarding, and downing on those days when my child and my husband and especially my own special brand of insanity are driving me around the bend. But I can't, so for now I will simply enjoy the fact that she is still with us, and can share her beauty and kindness with us for another year. Happy birthday, Grandma!!
After our brunch, Seester (my lovely younger sister) and her family came over, and we hung out and played RockBand and ate lasagna and had a really nice evening. It was really quite wonderful, and I would like to state again that I feel very lucky to have such a great family. Just sayin'.
I was planning on posting photos of my grandma's birthday, but we forgot our camera at home, and took pictures on my mother's camera. Which she cannot locate the USB connector for. So its a no go. So I'm posting these instead. These are today's Grace in Small Things. Please to enjoy.
Regular Baby.
Cow-face Baby.
Delighted Baby. There you go.
So, it's time for another weekend update, because I've been slacking this week. Actually, I've been working on a scrapbook for BabyA, which one hand, I hesitate to mention, because scrapbooking just feels so suburban and bourgeois and just uncool. But, despite the fact that I try to be none of these things, I am assembling a scrapbook for BabyA's first year. And damned if I don't enjoy it. It requires at least a little creativity, and I really don't have enough creative outlets in my life right now. And it can be done in short spurts, which is a requirement for any activity I take on right now. And it doesn't aggravate my carpal tunnel, which is also important. So, I'm coming out as a scrapbooker. Deal with it.
In other news, my grandmother celebrated her 91st birthday on Sunday. 91. Wow. I really cannot fathom that. Because she has seen so many things, and the world has changed so much in that time, and I wish I could bottle even a fraction of her wisdom, for hoarding, and downing on those days when my child and my husband and especially my own special brand of insanity are driving me around the bend. But I can't, so for now I will simply enjoy the fact that she is still with us, and can share her beauty and kindness with us for another year. Happy birthday, Grandma!!
After our brunch, Seester (my lovely younger sister) and her family came over, and we hung out and played RockBand and ate lasagna and had a really nice evening. It was really quite wonderful, and I would like to state again that I feel very lucky to have such a great family. Just sayin'.
I was planning on posting photos of my grandma's birthday, but we forgot our camera at home, and took pictures on my mother's camera. Which she cannot locate the USB connector for. So its a no go. So I'm posting these instead. These are today's Grace in Small Things. Please to enjoy.
Regular Baby.
Cow-face Baby.
Delighted Baby. There you go.01 February 2009
My Weekend Update, which is nowhere near as funny as Amy Poehler's.
This weekend was nice. Just, nice. Friday was dinner out with visiting relatives, which if you are a parent you realize generally goes like this:
1) Clear the table of anything Baby might grab that could injure her or result in a mess. This means clearing the table of EVERYTHING. Cutlery? Check. Water glass? Check. Beverage glass. Check. Napkin? Check.
2) Now that the table is empty, refill with Baby's toys, sippy cup, snack cup, saucer with food, baby spoon, wipes, bib, etc., until the damn table looks like your table at home, which means it is invisible under the BABY STUFF, OH GOD, THE BABY STUFF.
3) Spend the time while you are waiting for your food thinking how good Baby is being, and how nice it is too eat out.
4) Food arrives, and Baby suddenly loses patience and sanity, and MUST BE HELD NOW, not so she can enjoy being held, but so she can squirm like a worm on a hook, reach for all those things out of her reach and squeal at the top of her lungs when you don't give them to her. All of this you are doing with one hand, while trying to eat with the other hand
Actually, I have to admit, it wasn't really that bad. Both GeekDad and I got to visit with some of our family, and my cousin and his wife who were sitting across from us have a daughter only 7 months older than BabyA, so they were engaged in the same lovely ritual as us. It's just that I remember when going out for dinner was more relaxing and less exhausting, and I miss that, just a little. However, GeekDad and I have finagled Nana into babysitting for us for Valentine's Day, so we will be having our first dinner out unaccompanied by BabyA. I'm looking forward to it.
Saturday involved a little lounging and a little shopping, and then dinner with some out-of-town friends and some in-town friends, and was generally a really good time. We started a game of Cranium (which is awesome, btw), and didn't realize that it was almost midnight by the time we left. That is the latest we've been out since BabyA was born, and it was kind of nice.
Sunday was dinner at the in-laws, which started with some visiting, and then moved onto some Wii, and finished with a lovely roast, so generally, a really nice day. I tried to remember to take pictures, but forgot mostly, as usual. I did however, get the following pics of Grandma teaching BabyA how to use a ride on toy, which she loved.
So, generally a good weekend. In other news, I saw my doctor this morning about the weight loss thing. She recommended something like Jenny Craig, which says is successful for alot of her patients. JC is not an option for me - for one thing, its freakin' expensive, and for another, the food is bland as shit, as my mother-in-law and her hubby can attest. I asked about Weight Watchers, which I've tried before with some success, and she said that it takes more patience, because of the food weighing and cooking, etc., but can work quite well. I think that's what I'm gonna go with. I'd rather cook my own food anyway. She also let me know that she can prescribe an appetite suppresant, but not until I'm finished breastfeeding, so I can keep it in mind for the future. I also need to work on a regular excercise plan, but I feel better just having made this first move. My biggest goal is to be healthy, so I can be a better example for my daughter, and this is a definate step in the right direction. Consider yourself warned, hamster wheel!!
29 January 2009
25 Random Things about Me
There's a meme going around, where you write 25 random things about yourself, and then tag 25 other people to do it. Nobody tagged me, but I'm doing it anyway, because I'll never turn down a blog entry topic. I think the idea behind this is so that other people learn things about you that they didn't know, but I found that I learned some things about myself too. You should try it.
1. I went to Japan on a school exchange when I was 14. I was horribly homesick the entire time, and went through a rather severe case of culture shock, but I still don’t regret going.
2. I love history as much or more as I do politics. Which, seeing as I have my master’s in political science, is saying something.
3. My first real job was shilling discount cards by phone in Abbottsford. We worked out of a skeezy hotel room with a kitchen table and some MacGyvered phone jacks, and I hated every minute of it, but I met some cool people.
4. I once went to court to testify against someone who robbed the 7-11 I worked at. They only stole some food and a pack of smokes, but I’m certain they would have actually held us up if other people hadn’t kept coming in and interrupting their attempted robbery. I feel grateful that nothing worse happened.
5. I would like to live outside of Alberta. I’ve lived all over this province, but I would like to try living outside it.
6. Until Grade 9, I used to get A’s in math class. Then I got screwed when they assigned a French teacher to teach math, and she had no clue what she was doing. I got frustrated and gave up, and have done poorly in math ever since. It makes me sad.
7. When I was in London (England, as opposed to Ontario), I had an very eerie experience, where I recognized places I had never been before, and knew streets and buildings before I saw them. I felt an absolutely inexplicable connection to that city, and I want to go back so that I can explore it further.
8. In junior high, I played the trombone, and I loved it. I would like to take it up again, but I don’t really see that happening.
9. There is only one person (non-relative) in my life with whom I have had regular contact since I was a little kid, say 4 or 5 years old. I would value her friendship for no other reason but that, but, lucky me, she is also funny and honest and loving. I love you, Linda.
10. I remember the name of every boy I had a crush on during my school years, starting with David, who I told my mother I was going to marry after the first day of kindergarten, because we both had freckles, and ends with Todd, a guy whom I crushed on throughout high school, and never spoke to. I can tell you the rest too, if you like.
11. I like my freckles. They give some colour to my pasty face, and they hide blemishes like nobody’s business.
12. I love the TV show M*A*S*H*. When I was a kid, it was on after school, and I remember watching it all the time. They are now showing it again on the History channel, and you know what – it really weathers well. I suspect it may be a classic.
13. I was once a part of a church that probably fits the definition of a cult. There were good and bad things about the experience, but I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone else.
14. I’m addicted to public radio – CBC Radio 1. I don’t like the idea of having the TV on all day with BabyA at home, so I listen to the radio instead. It helps me feel connected to the world outside my house, and keeps me entertained.
15. Facebook has made me realize that I’m a little bit of a narcissist. I have a tendency to check if other people have commented on my photos, or left me notes, but not do the same for other people. So I’ve decided to try to change that. This is, I think, part of my larger commitment to stay in touch with people I care about this year.
16. I can knit and do cross-stitch, but I haven’t in a long time, partly because I’m easily distracted, and partly because I think I have carpal tunnel syndrome, and they make my wrists hurt and my fingers tingle.
17. Growing up, I was happy to grow up in a household unaffected by divorce. As an adult, I’m happy to be in a divorced family, because both of my parents are happier now, and my dad has a new wife who is kind-hearted and loves us.
18. I love digital cameras. They enable an amateur photographer like me to take a million shots, means I get the one-in-a-million shots too.
19. I believe that if something is meant to happen, it will.
20. The curl in my hair is natural, but the colour isn’t. I’m not totally sure what my natural colour is anymore.
21. I’m lucky enough to be friends with my family – both immediate and extended.
22. I believe in God, but I’m skeptical about organized religions.
23. I love gardening, and I love cooking, but both activities are at their most enjoyable when carried out in conjunction.
24. I’m the opposite of a music snob – I don’t really want to say music whore, so maybe I’ll say a music democrat. I’ll listen to anything, from the Dixie Chicks to the Ramones, to Rufus Wainwright, to (ok, I’m being brave here) the Jonas Brothers. I’ll listen to anything with a good lyrical hook and a catchy tune. I do, however, know the difference between something catchy I can groove to while I’m driving or typing, and really great music that I forces me to stop, listen, and respond. If you want to know who’s always on my Ipod, that would be Sarah McLaughlin, Jann Arden, Frank Sinatra, Michael Bublé, and Frank Sinatra. So apparently, it helps to be Canadian or dead.
25. I’m a nerd in any number of ways. I love science in all its forms, and I hope to pass that love on to my daughter. I’m also a nerd because of my grad degree. Anyone with a grad degree is at least a bit of a nerd, simple as that.
So know you know a little bit more about me. And so do I.
P.S. Here's my GiST tidbit for the day. Today, I am happy for onions. They make almost every dish taste better.
1. I went to Japan on a school exchange when I was 14. I was horribly homesick the entire time, and went through a rather severe case of culture shock, but I still don’t regret going.
2. I love history as much or more as I do politics. Which, seeing as I have my master’s in political science, is saying something.
3. My first real job was shilling discount cards by phone in Abbottsford. We worked out of a skeezy hotel room with a kitchen table and some MacGyvered phone jacks, and I hated every minute of it, but I met some cool people.
4. I once went to court to testify against someone who robbed the 7-11 I worked at. They only stole some food and a pack of smokes, but I’m certain they would have actually held us up if other people hadn’t kept coming in and interrupting their attempted robbery. I feel grateful that nothing worse happened.
5. I would like to live outside of Alberta. I’ve lived all over this province, but I would like to try living outside it.
6. Until Grade 9, I used to get A’s in math class. Then I got screwed when they assigned a French teacher to teach math, and she had no clue what she was doing. I got frustrated and gave up, and have done poorly in math ever since. It makes me sad.
7. When I was in London (England, as opposed to Ontario), I had an very eerie experience, where I recognized places I had never been before, and knew streets and buildings before I saw them. I felt an absolutely inexplicable connection to that city, and I want to go back so that I can explore it further.
8. In junior high, I played the trombone, and I loved it. I would like to take it up again, but I don’t really see that happening.
9. There is only one person (non-relative) in my life with whom I have had regular contact since I was a little kid, say 4 or 5 years old. I would value her friendship for no other reason but that, but, lucky me, she is also funny and honest and loving. I love you, Linda.
10. I remember the name of every boy I had a crush on during my school years, starting with David, who I told my mother I was going to marry after the first day of kindergarten, because we both had freckles, and ends with Todd, a guy whom I crushed on throughout high school, and never spoke to. I can tell you the rest too, if you like.
11. I like my freckles. They give some colour to my pasty face, and they hide blemishes like nobody’s business.
12. I love the TV show M*A*S*H*. When I was a kid, it was on after school, and I remember watching it all the time. They are now showing it again on the History channel, and you know what – it really weathers well. I suspect it may be a classic.
13. I was once a part of a church that probably fits the definition of a cult. There were good and bad things about the experience, but I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone else.
14. I’m addicted to public radio – CBC Radio 1. I don’t like the idea of having the TV on all day with BabyA at home, so I listen to the radio instead. It helps me feel connected to the world outside my house, and keeps me entertained.
15. Facebook has made me realize that I’m a little bit of a narcissist. I have a tendency to check if other people have commented on my photos, or left me notes, but not do the same for other people. So I’ve decided to try to change that. This is, I think, part of my larger commitment to stay in touch with people I care about this year.
16. I can knit and do cross-stitch, but I haven’t in a long time, partly because I’m easily distracted, and partly because I think I have carpal tunnel syndrome, and they make my wrists hurt and my fingers tingle.
17. Growing up, I was happy to grow up in a household unaffected by divorce. As an adult, I’m happy to be in a divorced family, because both of my parents are happier now, and my dad has a new wife who is kind-hearted and loves us.
18. I love digital cameras. They enable an amateur photographer like me to take a million shots, means I get the one-in-a-million shots too.
19. I believe that if something is meant to happen, it will.
20. The curl in my hair is natural, but the colour isn’t. I’m not totally sure what my natural colour is anymore.
21. I’m lucky enough to be friends with my family – both immediate and extended.
22. I believe in God, but I’m skeptical about organized religions.
23. I love gardening, and I love cooking, but both activities are at their most enjoyable when carried out in conjunction.
24. I’m the opposite of a music snob – I don’t really want to say music whore, so maybe I’ll say a music democrat. I’ll listen to anything, from the Dixie Chicks to the Ramones, to Rufus Wainwright, to (ok, I’m being brave here) the Jonas Brothers. I’ll listen to anything with a good lyrical hook and a catchy tune. I do, however, know the difference between something catchy I can groove to while I’m driving or typing, and really great music that I forces me to stop, listen, and respond. If you want to know who’s always on my Ipod, that would be Sarah McLaughlin, Jann Arden, Frank Sinatra, Michael Bublé, and Frank Sinatra. So apparently, it helps to be Canadian or dead.
25. I’m a nerd in any number of ways. I love science in all its forms, and I hope to pass that love on to my daughter. I’m also a nerd because of my grad degree. Anyone with a grad degree is at least a bit of a nerd, simple as that.
So know you know a little bit more about me. And so do I.
P.S. Here's my GiST tidbit for the day. Today, I am happy for onions. They make almost every dish taste better.
28 January 2009
Go be happy, people.
This weekend was quiet - we visited with some of GeekDad's stepfamily on Saturday, and did grocery shopping and movie watching on Sunday. I'm not sure why I specify stepfamily, because really, these people are just family. I totally lucked out on in-laws, I have to tell you. My mother-in-law is wonderful - kind and supportive and very careful of not overstepping her bounds. I find it kind of funny, because she never has overstepped her bounds, but she tells me about how she won't say something because she worries I'll be upset, and I can sense how much she loves both her son and I. And she is married to a generous and kind man, who comes with his own family, both immediate and extended, who have completely adopted us. It really is something to be grateful for.
Which leads me to my next topic - 365 days of Grace in Small Things. This project and network was started by fellow blogger Schmutzie, and it strikes me as a singularly fabulous idea. The purpose of GiST is to "Grace in Small Things exists because we are choosing not to allow the noisiness of life to rob us of the time and energy to be mindful of ourselves and those we love and to recognize the grace that exists in small things," by listing 5 things which make us happy every day. I have always found that remembering the good and happy things in my life helps me to stave off the occasional boughts of self-pity and a family tendency for depression. This just makes it a little more formal, and also, will give me something to regularly post about here.
So, here goes. Things I am happy for today:
1. My family, immediate, extended, and extended-extended. I love my family, and they make my life richer.
2. The colour of the sky on a bright winter day. I'm no fan of winter, but you just don't get that same clear blue in the winter. The sunshine is far preferable to the grey, overcast days, and I wish I could get my bedroom walls to be this colour.
3. My hair. Despite the changes pregnancy has wrought, I love my curly hair. It is easy to do, it recovers well from colouring, and it looks good both short and long.
4. Public radio. I don't like having the TV on constantly with BabyA here, and CBC Radio 1 keeps me entertained throughout the day.
5. Today, this video made me happy. It was posted by Schmutzie on the GiST website. The song is light and pretty, and the video is creative and interesting and happy-provoking.
Now, your turn. Go be happy.
Which leads me to my next topic - 365 days of Grace in Small Things. This project and network was started by fellow blogger Schmutzie, and it strikes me as a singularly fabulous idea. The purpose of GiST is to "Grace in Small Things exists because we are choosing not to allow the noisiness of life to rob us of the time and energy to be mindful of ourselves and those we love and to recognize the grace that exists in small things," by listing 5 things which make us happy every day. I have always found that remembering the good and happy things in my life helps me to stave off the occasional boughts of self-pity and a family tendency for depression. This just makes it a little more formal, and also, will give me something to regularly post about here.
So, here goes. Things I am happy for today:
1. My family, immediate, extended, and extended-extended. I love my family, and they make my life richer.
2. The colour of the sky on a bright winter day. I'm no fan of winter, but you just don't get that same clear blue in the winter. The sunshine is far preferable to the grey, overcast days, and I wish I could get my bedroom walls to be this colour.
3. My hair. Despite the changes pregnancy has wrought, I love my curly hair. It is easy to do, it recovers well from colouring, and it looks good both short and long.
4. Public radio. I don't like having the TV on constantly with BabyA here, and CBC Radio 1 keeps me entertained throughout the day.
5. Today, this video made me happy. It was posted by Schmutzie on the GiST website. The song is light and pretty, and the video is creative and interesting and happy-provoking.
Now, your turn. Go be happy.
22 January 2009
What's on my mind...
I've been struggling somewhat with blog posts, especially with topics. One of the things I enjoy most about the blogs I read is they have posts are well thought out, insightful, and especially, thought provoking. And I've been trying to emulate this, but I find it really difficult to carve out enough space in my day to sit down and write, think, edit, and rewrite to come up with these types of posts.
However, I've realized that while the blogs I love have these incredibly insightful posts, they also have posts which simply catalog the miscellany of the authors. And you know what? I also enjoy these posts! They are funny and interesting, and create a sense of camaraderie with their readers. I think if I start allowing myself to do these types of posts as well, I will feel less pressure, and it may help my creative process. Then, when I have longer stretches of free time, I can work on the more time consuming posts.
So, here goes with my miscellany post for today. BabyA is seven months old, and doing really well. She has reached an age where she really interacts with us, joining in the little games we play. One of the things I enjoy the most is her anticipation of things. When I count to three before tossing her in the air, she starts smiling at my "One..., Two...," before she even gets tossed. When we play All Around the Garden, she giggles before the tickling even starts. Half the time I don't even get to the end of the rhyme before I start laughing at her giggles. This, truly, is bliss. She has also begun moving from a sitting position to her belly, and doing this on purpose, as opposed to the uncontrolled flailing of earlier months. She is usually in pursuit of a toy, and I know this is just a precursor to crawling, which I'm both looking forward to and dreading.
In topics other than BabyA, I'm finding myself with a little more time on my hands, as BabyA can amuse herself for longer periods of time, and I feel like my brain is stretching after a long case of being figuratively snowed-in with the parenting minutia. I'm starting to feel a longing to focus on other things, and I'm not really sure where to settle that focus. I think I'm going to start looking for an appropriate journal to send my master's thesis to, to see if I can get it published somehow. It would go a long way towards building up my CV and my sense of focus. I'm also thinking I'd like to do some volunteer work for some of the organizations that do work around human trafficking (the topic of my thesis). I'm not sure what kind of things can be done from a distance, but I think I'm going to check into it.
Another project I'm going to begin is going through my grandmother's notes. Just after I had BabyA, my dad gave me a folder full of miscellaneous little notes and stories he'd collected from my grandmother. I'd like to get them typed out and bound into a little book of some kind, for BabyA and her cousins. My grandma is now 82, and getting more frail all the time, so I'd like to get this project done while I can still get some input from her. I'd also like for her to see it. I think I'm going to post a least parts of this project on my blog, so stay tuned!
Anyway, that's all for the day. BabyA is waking from her nap, so my 20 minutes of free time are now up. See you round!!
However, I've realized that while the blogs I love have these incredibly insightful posts, they also have posts which simply catalog the miscellany of the authors. And you know what? I also enjoy these posts! They are funny and interesting, and create a sense of camaraderie with their readers. I think if I start allowing myself to do these types of posts as well, I will feel less pressure, and it may help my creative process. Then, when I have longer stretches of free time, I can work on the more time consuming posts.
So, here goes with my miscellany post for today. BabyA is seven months old, and doing really well. She has reached an age where she really interacts with us, joining in the little games we play. One of the things I enjoy the most is her anticipation of things. When I count to three before tossing her in the air, she starts smiling at my "One..., Two...," before she even gets tossed. When we play All Around the Garden, she giggles before the tickling even starts. Half the time I don't even get to the end of the rhyme before I start laughing at her giggles. This, truly, is bliss. She has also begun moving from a sitting position to her belly, and doing this on purpose, as opposed to the uncontrolled flailing of earlier months. She is usually in pursuit of a toy, and I know this is just a precursor to crawling, which I'm both looking forward to and dreading.
In topics other than BabyA, I'm finding myself with a little more time on my hands, as BabyA can amuse herself for longer periods of time, and I feel like my brain is stretching after a long case of being figuratively snowed-in with the parenting minutia. I'm starting to feel a longing to focus on other things, and I'm not really sure where to settle that focus. I think I'm going to start looking for an appropriate journal to send my master's thesis to, to see if I can get it published somehow. It would go a long way towards building up my CV and my sense of focus. I'm also thinking I'd like to do some volunteer work for some of the organizations that do work around human trafficking (the topic of my thesis). I'm not sure what kind of things can be done from a distance, but I think I'm going to check into it.
Another project I'm going to begin is going through my grandmother's notes. Just after I had BabyA, my dad gave me a folder full of miscellaneous little notes and stories he'd collected from my grandmother. I'd like to get them typed out and bound into a little book of some kind, for BabyA and her cousins. My grandma is now 82, and getting more frail all the time, so I'd like to get this project done while I can still get some input from her. I'd also like for her to see it. I think I'm going to post a least parts of this project on my blog, so stay tuned!
Anyway, that's all for the day. BabyA is waking from her nap, so my 20 minutes of free time are now up. See you round!!
20 January 2009
Destroying the hamster wheel, a la the Office Space fax machine
I need to start with an explanation of why I've been absent for the last couple of weeks or so. Our desktop's memory, both RAM and hard drive, have been close to full for, oh I don't know, a year or so. So when my fabulous computer expert brother was up visiting the first week of January, he installed a new, larger, prettier hard drive, as well as some RAM. He also installed a new antivirus program. Now, I'm not sure what exactly it was, but something that he and I did during this period messed with our NIC (network interface card). Now this may sound like a bunch of nonsense phrases to you, but what it translates to is - the Interweb gods were denying me access! No internet, no MamaPop, no Her Bad Mother, no Sweetney, no Sundry and woe is me, no blogging! So what did I do? I rent my garments and covered my head with sackcloth and ashes, that's what. Seriously, what ensued was a panicked back up of all our documents, music and pictures, a complete rewrite of our hard drive, and reinstallation of the necessary software. Actually, that last part still isn't done, but I do at least have access to my beloved crack interweb. Sweet bliss!
Now that that confession is finished, on to another. I've been struggling a little with the blogging topics, in part because I'm stressed over something and wasn't sure if I wanted to share. But it strikes me that a big part of the reason I love the blogs I do is that the authors of them are so heartrendingly open with their struggles. So here goes.
I know I've mentioned on here earlier that I have lost quite a bit of weight with my pregnancy. And that has been absolutely thrilling. I didn't realize how very happy I was with this until I started putting some of the weight back on. Now, thanks to Amalah and Kirstin and a kind fitness instructor who spoke at BabyA's playgroup, I understand that breastfeeding can lead to an increased appetite and weight gain, but still, the re-gain of this weight is terrifying me. And when I say terrifying, I mean I woke up at three o'clock in the morning and began OBSESSING about my weight, and how much I do NOT want to go back to my pre-baby weight, because I want to be healthy for my daughter. This led to berating myself for trying to satisfy my breastfeeding appetite, which led to an argument with myself about the need to eat healthy and not diet while breastfeeding, which led to... There you have it, the hamster wheel of my brain, in the middle of the night, when I am stressed about something. Let's just say that the hamster wheel kept me awake for an hour and a half. Ugh.
This weight thing is truly stressing me out. I gained a grand total of seven pounds with my pregnancy, because I was very overweight to begin with. So the pregnancy weight gain didn't really bother me. However, I think I may be realizing how scary it was for other women now. And my inclination when something stresses me out is to lock it deep inside and talk about it to NO ONE, because I am ASHAMED of my problem. Which, you know, not so conducive to actually dealing with the issue. And also, definitely conducive to more nights of hamster-wheel induced insomnia.
So, I'm destroying the hamster wheel, Office Space style. In the interest of getting some sleep, I'm talking about my weight on this blog because I know just talking about it will bring some relief - acknowledging your issues and all of that. I'm also making a list of things I want to do about it. I'm going to make an appointment with my doctor to talk about losing some weight, and to see if she can recommend a fitness counselor who I can talk strategy with. I'm going to make arrangements with my mother-in-law to bring over the exercise equipment she offered, and not wait until we find space for it, because that just gives me an excuse.
Finally, I'm also soliciting ideas from you, dear readers. Any suggestions on books, programs or general states of mind which helped you in this area?
Now that that confession is finished, on to another. I've been struggling a little with the blogging topics, in part because I'm stressed over something and wasn't sure if I wanted to share. But it strikes me that a big part of the reason I love the blogs I do is that the authors of them are so heartrendingly open with their struggles. So here goes.
I know I've mentioned on here earlier that I have lost quite a bit of weight with my pregnancy. And that has been absolutely thrilling. I didn't realize how very happy I was with this until I started putting some of the weight back on. Now, thanks to Amalah and Kirstin and a kind fitness instructor who spoke at BabyA's playgroup, I understand that breastfeeding can lead to an increased appetite and weight gain, but still, the re-gain of this weight is terrifying me. And when I say terrifying, I mean I woke up at three o'clock in the morning and began OBSESSING about my weight, and how much I do NOT want to go back to my pre-baby weight, because I want to be healthy for my daughter. This led to berating myself for trying to satisfy my breastfeeding appetite, which led to an argument with myself about the need to eat healthy and not diet while breastfeeding, which led to... There you have it, the hamster wheel of my brain, in the middle of the night, when I am stressed about something. Let's just say that the hamster wheel kept me awake for an hour and a half. Ugh.
This weight thing is truly stressing me out. I gained a grand total of seven pounds with my pregnancy, because I was very overweight to begin with. So the pregnancy weight gain didn't really bother me. However, I think I may be realizing how scary it was for other women now. And my inclination when something stresses me out is to lock it deep inside and talk about it to NO ONE, because I am ASHAMED of my problem. Which, you know, not so conducive to actually dealing with the issue. And also, definitely conducive to more nights of hamster-wheel induced insomnia.
So, I'm destroying the hamster wheel, Office Space style. In the interest of getting some sleep, I'm talking about my weight on this blog because I know just talking about it will bring some relief - acknowledging your issues and all of that. I'm also making a list of things I want to do about it. I'm going to make an appointment with my doctor to talk about losing some weight, and to see if she can recommend a fitness counselor who I can talk strategy with. I'm going to make arrangements with my mother-in-law to bring over the exercise equipment she offered, and not wait until we find space for it, because that just gives me an excuse.
Finally, I'm also soliciting ideas from you, dear readers. Any suggestions on books, programs or general states of mind which helped you in this area?
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